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Out of the Loop

If you’re looking for a cheap thrill this Halloween, you might hang out at the abandoned One Track Mine. It’s not that far off the road.

People say an outlaw named Black Jack Sfinckter is still hanging around in the mine. At the end of his rope, or someone else’s.

They say that screaming you hear, so hideous it would part your hair, is coming from Black Jack’s ghost.

That’s not strictly accurate, and you know how The Journal strives for accuracy.

The real story begins with a dumb but honest cowboy named Mickey Purvis–a gentle man with a good …

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Sea Gophers and Bashful Bass

Several readers noticed that we did not publish a journal for nearly two months. Some complained; some did not.

Our friend Tom, who’s sailing the southern latitudes in a small boat, sent an e-mail from Ecuador, or Easter Island, or somewhere; we never know with Tom.

“It occurred to me that you may have gone straight in your old age,” he wrote. “I know it is becoming more and more difficult for me to lie, the older I get.”

Same here. Late in August,I thought I might never lie again. I was tired of fending off pretenders, and advocates of …

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Miss Menu is Driven

Lately, when Miss Ellie is away and I get lonely, I call and talk to Julie. It’s okay with Ellie. She told me about Julie.

Julie has a bright, perky voice. She’s doesn’t flirt–she’s sexless, like Doris Day or Betty Crocker–but I keep hoping she’ll warm up to me. She seems to like it when I talk back to her.

Julie is the interactive, recorded spokesperson for Amtrak’s automated telephone answering service. Remember when you used to be able to phone a big company and talk to a human being? Well, there are still human voices hidden behind those phone …

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The Book is Here!

We told you last spring that The Journal Of Prevarication would soon be a book. Would we lie?

Arizona Liar’s Journal is here, and boy, are we proud. The 52 yarns–some old, some new–are illustrated by Jim Willoughby, the best cowboy cartoonist in the world. There’s even a special Cook family photo album, included at no charge.

Janice Coggin of Cowboy Miner Productions and Gwen Henson of SageBrush Publications dressed the book up real pretty.

We think it looks like a million bucks, but it won’t cost you nearly that much. No, sirree. You can buy this copiously illustrated 224-page …

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