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Help Save My Lying, Dying Computer

I want to tell you about my newest book, The Arizona Liar’s Almanac, and maybe sell you a copy.

You’ll have to bear with me. My powerful HP computer ingested its own hard drive last week, and it’s in the shop. This Dell laptop is not so experienced at lying as my main computer.

The HP is driven by special liar’s software developed right here at the Wickenburg Institute for Factual Diversity; the laptop wants to argue with me all the time.

Over the last couple of years, my long-time friend Sam Lowe wrote a book called Arizona Curiosities, part of a state-by-state series being published by The Globe Pequot Press of Guilford, CT. You can find Sam’s book in stores everywhere, because Globe Pequot is a first-class operation.

Sam kindly included me as an Arizona curiosity. He put in a photo of me talking to Carver, the six-foot wooden bear who guards the door to the WIFD.

Liar's AlmanacSam’s editor e-mailed me that she’d like to publish some of my lies in a book. Thus was born The Arizona Liar’s Almanac, a worthy sequel to the earlier Arizona Liar’s Journal, published by Cowboy Miner Productions.

The almanac is full of useful information about Arizona, including my recipe for stuffed Vienna sausages.

Its weather section explains how our Arizona spring changed quickly to summer this week, and will change back again twice or three times before the Saguaros bloom in May. It has special sections on home remedies (how to cure brain dandruff), and useful household hints.

The almanac is 168 pages thick, and profusely illustrated by Prescott cartoonist Jim Willoughby. Some of the information in the book appeared in The Journal of Prevarication, but much of it is brand new–previously unpublished, and waiting for you to read it and say, “Gee whiz.” Or, “Cheez Whiz” in the food section.

The book was due to be released on April Fool’s Day, but it came out early–the first book in the entire history of publishing to appear ahead of schedule. It should be in stores all around the state very soon.

For a time, I didn’t want to sell any. The book is so attractive, and the writing so inspired, I wanted to keep them all for myself.

Globe Pequot didn’t buy it, however, and wiser heads at WIFD say we need the money. For one thing, we have to get our lying computer fixed and back on line. I’m tired of arguing with a laptop with a fact fetish.

The book will be available at the 15th Annual Phoenix Folk Traditions Music Festival at Encanto Park March 20 and 21. I’ll be performing in the festival on Saturday, March 20, and will be eager to autograph books, if you can catch me when I’m not singing cowboy songs or mining songs. My singing brings tears to the eyes of even the most polished musicians.

On Sunday, March 21, I’ll be signing books at the Salute to Arizona Book Fair sponsored by The Scottsdale Historical Society and Barnes and Noble Booksellers. From 1 to 3 p.m., I’ll be appearing with old friends Dee Strickland Johnson and Bob Boze Bell in the Barnes and Noble store at 90th Street and Shea Boulevard.

I’ll tell some lies, Boze will talk of famous western gunfighters, and Dee will recite poems from her wonderful new book, Arizona Herstory, which presents history and Arizona lore in verse.

On Saturday, April 3, I’ll be one of many authors signing books at the Arizona Book Festival at the Hall of Fame Museum, 1101 W. Washington. I’ll be at the table of Cowboy Miner Productions, another classy publisher. It’s part of the Arizona Book Publishers Association booth.

I’ll be there from noon until late in the day, because they have a hard time running me off. I’ll be accompanied by an eight-foot-tall jackrabbit loaned by my friend Ken Clemmer, who imports giant rabbits from New Zealand in his spare time.

Finally, if you want to be the first kid in your neighborhood to own an autographed copy, you can send $12.95, plus $4.50 for shipping and handling, to The Wickenburg Institute For Factual Diversity, P.O. Box 1024, Wickenburg, AZ 85358. For additional copies, add $1 apiece for shipping; it’s three miles from here to the post office, and uphill both ways.

Last 5 posts by Jim Cook

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