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Moose Drool and Other Droppings: November Report

Well folks, the monsoon season may have ended with a whimper, but the five month “wall of heat” has finally ended! Our stoic endurance once again proves that we are tougher than the average person and we can take a perverse pride in knowing we are entirely as resilient as coyotes and rattlesnakes. Year-round residents couldn’t be happier, of course – we like a cool day or two as much as anyone else. Here are the top ten indicators of the change in season:

10. You can walk barefoot to your mail box without getting blisters.

9. The rattlesnakes on your back porch are starting to get sluggish.

8. Local merchants become giddy with anticipation of lower temperatures. Some merchants even begin practicing forced smiles when customers enter their stores.

7. Pharmacies begin to stock up on over-priced medications.

6. The Wickenburg Sun begins a fresh editorial campaign against “Retail Leakage.”

5. Wickenburg grocery stores expand their alcoholic beverage sections — at the expense of the food products, of course.

4. Local restaurants that annually abandon residents during the summer season begin to reopen.

3. Motor homes with out-of-state license plates begin popping up in the usual spots outside of town.

2. The average speed of drivers in Wickenburg drops to 15 miles below the posted limit as winter visitors begin to dominate local streets.

1. And in the number 1 spot — November also marks another seasonal turning point — the date when litter along Constellation and Buckhorn Roads begins to increase dramatically.

The Moose Bridge has made a rather bold discovery: Litter does not fall from the sky — only meteoroids, asteroids and satellites do! Thus, we have concluded that beer bottles and other litter on the roads and trail-sides have an origin that is based solely upon human traffic in the area.

We began our report on August 24th with the knowledge that this represented a low point in seasonal litter collection. As stated in our previous article, this constitutes the “background level” of litter along Constellation and Buckhorn Roads. We have now collected 478 cans and bottles. For your edification and enjoyment, here is the report that ended on November 4th:

Moose Drool Report

Some Quick Observations:

  • Anheuser-Busch products lead all categories of litter. Not only is Budweiser the “King of Beers”, its consumers are also the “King of Litter.”
  • Alcoholic litter leads by slightly more than 66%.
  • 44% of all alcoholic litter is comprised of bottles. The Moose Brigade estimates that at least a one third of these are broken when tossed from a passing vehicle.
  • These statistics do not include litter collection made by other individuals.
  • The statistics omit all other forms of litter, including toilets, items that require the use of surgical gloves or booster shots, etc.
  • The Moose Brigade has not located another bottle of “Moose Drool” beer, which is our symbolic emblem. Have patience though; we are confident that another one will eventually turn up along the road. Photos will follow soon after.
  • Calamity Wash, which is just beyond the pavement as you head out Constellation Road, is a major litter point. This location is just outside of the Wickenburg town limits and Maricopa County. If the Wickenburg Police Department is not already posting an officer to perform sobriety checks on individuals who return from this area during the evening hours, they might consider doing so.

Constellation and Buckhorn Roads provide access for three types of traffic:

  • Property owners (fewer than ten.)
  • Ranchers who work their rangelands to care for cattle (about a half-dozen.)
  • Recreational visitors who enter the area for enjoyment.

Recreational traffic has dominated the use of these roads for several years. As the cool season arrives the recreational traffic will far exceed that of the other two categories. It is, therefore, not unreasonable to conclude that seasonal and weekend visitors will continue to be the primary contributors to litter in this area.

One of the definitions of the term “dichotomy” is “a logical falsity.” For example: An individual who litters while at the same time professing to enjoy the beauty of our desert landscape.

You can’t prevent these semi-conscious morons from wrecking the beauty of our countryside, but at least you can help by picking up their litter during your journeys through the area. Join the Moose Brigade in this endeavor — pickup, classify, and toss the litter in a collection bin; then send us the results of your findings by adding a comment to this article.

Last 5 posts by Moose Brigade

5 comments to Moose Drool and Other Droppings: November Report

  • D. T. Cote

    First of all, I applaud your efforts in cleaning up the environment.

    However, as a scientist, I can only shake my head in wonder at the spurious assumptions made in your comment about Anheuser-Busch:

    “Anheuser-Busch products lead all categories of litter. Not only is Budweiser the “King of Beers”, its consumers are also the “King of Litter.” ”

    From just glancing at your report, A-B products constitute about 50% of your litter clean up product. At the same time, A-B sells about half the beer sold in the US. By inference, Bud drinkers aren’t any more slovenly than any other beer drinkers; they’re about average.

    Disclaimer: I have no connection to A-B or any of it’s distributors or subsidiaries. In fact, I am partial to microbrews, and only throw the bottles in my recycle bin. (And I have a bottle of Moose Drool in my fridge.)

  • Moose Brigade

    D.T.:
    We like your reference that A-B drinkers are about average in their sloven behaviour, and will amend future comments to reflect that statistical observation!

    For the record, as of Nov. 17th, the total of bottles, cans, plastics and cups has increased 85% over the Nov. 4th report. A-B products have edged up slightly to 51% of all litter. The sheer volume of A-B litter makes it particularly conspicuous, even if these consumers are only “average” litterbugs.

    We did not set out to make this series of articles a scientific treatise on the behviour of litterbugs who spoil our scenic habitat but, rather, to motivate people to be more respectful.

    As of yesterday 74% of all litter that we have removed is alcoholic. That IS a matter that should be of concern to everyone. We are just as concerned about all other forms of litter that we find.
    And yes – there are a few days when non-alcoholic litter exceeds that of beer and liquor products, just as there are month-to-month variations volume that are likely based upon the seasonal swing in recreational visitions to this area.
    Best regards.

  • Daryl

    One must ponder how much the change in Arizona’s open container laws several years ago contributes to the alcohol-related trash, since, if I interpret the law correctly, the possession of an open container, even empty, violates the law.

    Certainly in the case of underage consumption, the impetus would be to discard any incriminating evidence.

  • Moose Brigade

    Daryl:
    Gee, I hope the Moose Brigade is not in jeapardy when they toss litter in the back of their trucks and/or jeeps! These containers aren’t just open – many of them are broken bottles (that’s really ‘open’)!

  • Daryl

    I’ve wondered that myself when I’ve had a bunch of cans from in the truck. If I received a citation for that, I’d hope I had the fortitiude to fight it in court.